Let Rejection Be Motivating?
Yes, realizing your greatest fear can reinforce determination.
One of the biggest reasons many of us hesitate to go after what we really want is for fear of the response we might get from others.
What will someone say?
What if our efforts aren’t as good as another’s?
What if we get rejected?
The decision to go for it may come down to how confident we feel about ourselves in the first place.
If we struggle to deem ourselves good enough then chances are our fear of being proven right about ourselves will keep us from risking our fragile ego.
But let’s say we are able to somehow muster the courage to put our creation out into the world only to have it, in fact, rejected?
What do we do when our fear becomes our reality?
Well, that’s kind of a funny thing actually.
See, I want to be a writer. I really don’t yet have a clear vision for exactly how it will look. I just want to write and I would like my writing to be well received.
And I have learned that the single best way to become better at writing is to write — consistently.
So I have started writing on Medium. I post to my own account and I occasionally submit to a couple of publications (on Medium).
When you submit to a publication your writing has to be approved by someone before it is published.
That means someone is deciding whether to accept or reject your offering.
I wrote and submitted a piece to one of the publications here a while back.
I got a notification back that ‘after several readings’ my submission was not deemed to be of value to the readership of the publication.
Ouch.
This news did not come at the best time either (if there ever is a best time to receive bad news).
It hit me hard and down the rabbit hole of not good enough I went.
I started with not only was this particular piece of work not good but nothing I write is good and furthermore I’m not good.
Yikes!
And so I sat with my rejection for a while and wallowed.
But after a while something kind of occurred to me. Yes, the feeling was bad but it didn’t kill me. It really didn’t take anything from me.
So maybe the particular piece I wrote wasn’t my best work — at least in someone’s opinion. I thought it was good enough to submit. And I have received praise for other pieces I have written.
Do I still want to be a writer?
Am I going to let one rejection stop me from trying again?
I do still want to write and I have read plenty of stories of quite famous people who endured plenty of rejection but chose not to let it stop them from achieving their dreams.
I think it’s important that we don’t give up on ourselves even if the rest of the world isn’t quite ready for what we have to offer.
Where would Stephen King be today if someone hadn’t fished his first book, Carrie, out of the trash where it was tossed after some 30 rejections?
What if Walt Disney had listened to his editor at the Kansas City Star who fired him for lacking creativity?
And what would the world do without the Chicken Soup for the Soul series if Jack Canfield had given up after 144 publishers said no?
So I, too, shall continue to write and continue to submit my work.
Maybe my next rejection will sting a little less and maybe some of my writing will be published and read. And I will get better.
After being rejected, I now understand that it is just an obstacle and not a complete roadblock. I actually feel a little more legitimate — kind of like rejection is a rite of passage.
I think rejection can help us to decide if we are serious about what we want to do. It helped me to double down on my resolve.
Reject my work? I’ll show you!
I find myself a little more determined to keep going and a little more motivated to improve.
I published my rejected article to my own account. If you’re interested, here it is published as submitted — Do We Live in a Friendly or Hostile Universe?
